Confessions of An Over-committer

It’s confession time. I have been over-committing myself for too long, I suppose, and it’s finally catching up to me. My body has been telling me since I finished my MBA almost 2 years ago that it needed a rest. But I didn’t listen…..

When I finished my MBA in August of 2007, I anticipated feeling great, having energy, having time on my hands and taking on all kinds of new things. But I didn’t feel great; I felt drained, fatigued, and tired. I went to the Doctor in December 2007 because I was still exhausted. Nothing could be found medically wrong, so I called upon my strengths – goal setting and perseverance, and decided to do the MS150, an Olympic Distance Triathlon and a ½ Ironman distance triathlon the summer of 2008 instead of slowing down and re-fueling my body. I did feel tired when I was training, but I did it and I loved each of the races I did.

At the end of last summer, my mom told me I was doing too much. But I didn’t listen. I took on extra projects at work in the fall. I started piano lessons. Steve started working full time. I was elected to the MS Society Board of Directors. I started making big plans for summer of 2009; what could I do that was even more challenging I asked myself. And I was exhausted. Back to the Dr.; still nothing is medically wrong. So I add more professionals to my wellness team! Now, I’m seeing an acupuncturist, my chiropractor, my masseuse on a regular basis. I’m reading whatever I can get my hands on. I’m eating more spinach and taking more vitamins and minerals and supplements and drinking herbal tonics that taste so bad I have to drink them with a strong juice chaser. I’m mixing so many things in my protein drinks in the morning that my digestive tract should be as clean as brand new plumbing. I’m making things that make Dylan gag (“mom, you’ve stooped to an all time low” was Dylan’s reaction to me starting to make my own carrot juice concoctions.) I should be feeling great!

Steve told me I was doing too much. But I didn’t listen. It’s January of 2009 and now, I’m so fatigued, there are Sundays when I can’t get out of a prone position (and that’s my long run day!), and I’m scheduling time on my calendar at work to take naps in my car. I’m making it to the gym only to swim or walk on the treadmill 10 minutes. This must mean only one thing; I don’t have enough to do! I’m not accomplishing enough! So, I commit to doing my own MS fundraiser – a triathlon for dogs. I sign up for the Boulder Peak Triathlon and Connor is talking to me about doing an ½ marathon with him. Work has gotten crazier that I could imagine.

Can you see the pattern here? Since everyone but me can see the pattern (even Connor told me “Mom, you should haven’t taken that promotion!”), I go see more doctors and read more books. Because I SHOULD be able to do it all! And I love everything I’m doing! So, what’s wrong with me??

The doctors call it being a female in her mid-forties, hyperthyroidism, adrenal fatigue, and hormonal changes. My self diagnosis is over commitment-itis, and achievement addiction. My first step to recovery is to admit I have a problem. So, here’s my public confession. I have a problem with wanting to do too much.

I’ll tell you about my recovery plan in my next installment; I can’t write about it today, because I have too much to do. I’ll give you a hint about what I am still committed to though: I plan on riding in the Bike MS this year and you can support me in my recovery plan by donating to the MS Society by clicking on this link: http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=4432348&pg=personal&fr_id=10973